She's Fresh!

November 23, 2025

Texas, y’all good? 

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She's Fresh!


[instrumental intro]


[Intro – slow, smoky beat, spoken low]

Yeah... they said the Dems needed a new face 

Texas sent one... straight fire, no lace 

They call her fresh... 

But fresh like milk left out in July 

Let’s talk about it...


[Hook – half-sung, half-spoken, urban drawl]

She’s fresh! (fresh!) 

New face of the party, lookin’ clean on the screen 

She’s fresh! (so fresh!) 

Till she open that mouth and the crazy jump out the seams 

She’s fresh! (fresh!) 

Pride of Texas, Jazzy Crockett in the flesh 

But every time she grab the mic, Lord, it’s a hot-ass mess 

She’s fresh... too fresh... way too fresh...


[Verse 1 – rapid-fire spoken word, beat picks up]

Bleach-blonde, bad-built, butch-body bars 

She threw the whole kitchen, sink, stove and all 

Went viral in a robe, sellin’ mugs on the site 

Turned a committee roast into merch money overnight 

Governor Hot Wheels? Yeah, she said that too 

Wheelchair jokes in 2025, who raised you? 

Eighty percent of crime is white supremacy 

FBI data looked at her like “Ma’am, who is we?” 

Jeffrey Epstein donated... wait, wrong one 

Different dude, same name – girl, put the phone down 

She said “illegal entry ain’t a crime, it’s civil” 

Then wondered why the border clip got a hundred million views, real simple 


[Hook – louder, crowd chant vibe]

She’s fresh! (fresh!) 

Mouth movin’ faster than Google ever could 

She’s fresh! (so fresh!) 

Talkin’ street on the floor, but campaign ads sound like private school 

She’s fresh! (fresh!) 

Poster child for the IQ test mandate 

Every hearing, every clip – another classic update 

She’s fresh... too fresh... gift-wrapped fresh...


[Verse 2 – slower, menacing, bass hits hard]

She said police don’t prevent, they just solve 

Then cried when the crime rate wouldn’t evolve 

Compared ICE to slave patrols with a straight face 

While her own voters beggin’ somebody save the place 

“Committin’ a crime don’t make you a criminal” 

Tell that to the judge at the sentencing, real simple 

Trump is Hitler, his voters mentally ill 

Then begged for unity right after the pill 

She the queen of the clapback, the duchess of doom 

Every soundbite a bomb that blows up the room 


[instrumental solo]


[Bridge – beat drops to just kicks and hi-hats, whisper-spoken]

They told her “Jasmine, do the research first” 

She said “Nah, feelin’ cute, might delete... but worse” 

Hit send, hit send, watch the timeline burn 

Another Crockett classic – return to sender, no return 


[Final Hook – full choir energy, sarcastic gospel]

She’s fresh! (fresh!) 

The gift that keeps on givin’ us content 

She’s fresh! (so fresh!) 

Every week another “what the hell she just meant?” 

She’s fresh! (fresh!) 

Mandatory IQ, cognitive test 

But we low-key pray she never pass it 

We need this stress 

She’s fresh... too fresh... eternally fresh... 

Jazzy Crockett, baby – God bless the mess!


[Outro – beat fades, dry laugh]

Texas, y’all good? 

...Yeah, we thought so. 

She’s fresh!


[instrumental outro]



Here are some of the most frequently cited and widely criticized statements from U.S. Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-TX) that have gone viral or drawn backlash for being seen as outrageous, inflammatory, factually off-base, or poorly phrased. These span her time in Congress and often come from heated hearings, interviews, or social media. I've included context and approximate dates where available, focusing on the ones that generated the biggest reactions across sources (left, right, and neutral).


1. "Bleach blonde bad built butch body" (May 2024) 

  During a chaotic House Oversight Committee hearing, after Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene mocked her "fake eyelashes," Crockett asked the chair for clarification on rules by hypothetically asking if describing someone's "bleach blonde bad built butch body" would violate decorum. It was a clear shot at Greene, went massively viral (millions of views), and led Crockett to trademark the phrase and sell merch. Critics called it body-shaming and unprofessional; supporters hailed it as an epic clapback.


2. Accusing Republicans of taking donations from "a Jeffrey Epstein" who wasn't the pedophile (November 2025) 

  On the House floor, Crockett claimed figures like Lee Zeldin, Mitt Romney, and others accepted money from Jeffrey Epstein to counter a Democrat's Epstein ties. It turned out to be a different person (a doctor with the same name). She later defended it on CNN as an honest rush-job search, saying she deliberately said "a Jeffrey Epstein." Widely mocked as a humiliating self-own and example of sloppy smears.


3. "Just because someone has committed a crime, it doesn’t make them a criminal" (2025 interview) 

  Defending aspects of immigration or criminal justice reform, Crockett argued committing a crime doesn't inherently define someone as a lifelong criminal. Critics pounced on it as redefining basic language and soft-on-crime absurdity.


4. Claiming "80% of the most violent crimes in our country are white supremacy" (September 2025, CNN) 

  In a discussion on safety and extremism, she made this statistic (which doesn't align with FBI crime data, where most violent crime is not classified as white supremacist). It was ripped as wildly inaccurate fearmongering.


5. Mocking Texas Gov. Greg Abbott (paralyzed) as "Governor Hot Wheels" (2025) 

  At an event, she repeatedly referred to Abbott (who uses a wheelchair) as "Governor Hot Wheels" while criticizing his migrant policies. Sparked calls for censure, accusations of ableism, and backlash even from some Democrats.


6. "Law enforcement isn’t to prevent crime... they solve crime" (2025 podcast) 

  Said police are for investigating after crimes happen, not prevention. Drew heavy criticism as undermining basic policing and excusing failure to stop crime proactively.


7. Claiming black people are again being "hung in the South" because of Trump (November 2025 livestream) 

  Alleged Trump emboldens hate to the point of lynchings returning. Fact-checks found no evidence of a surge in such incidents; called inflammatory race-baiting.


8. Comparing ICE to "slave patrols" (various 2025 statements) 

  Likened modern immigration enforcement to antebellum slave-catching patrols. Common progressive talking point but blasted as historically exaggerated and divisive.


9. "Entering the country illegally is not a crime" / related immigration comments (multiple 2025 clips) 

  Technically referencing that unlawful entry is often a civil violation (first time is misdemeanor), but phrasing led to accusations she was downplaying border security entirely.


10. Defending calling Trump Hitler / supporters "mentally ill" (2025 interviews) 

  Repeated comparisons of Trump to Hitler and claims his voters have psychological issues. Part of broader inflammatory rhetoric that critics say fuels division.


These are subjective—"outrageous" or "dumb" depends on perspective—but they're the ones that consistently top conservative outrage lists, go viral on social media, and get fact-checked or mocked across the spectrum. She’s built a brand on fiery, unfiltered clapbacks that energize her base but alienate others. Many clips rack up millions of views precisely because they’re polarizing.


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