The Schumer Shutdown
Government’s chained up tighter than a pawn shop.
[Verse 1 - Male Spoken Rap]
Yo, it’s October ’25, day twenty-four’s a flop,
Government’s chained up tighter than a pawn shop.
Midnight, October first, the budget took a dive,
Congress scrappin’ like cats over scraps to survive.
House G. O. P. slung a CR, slick as a fiddle,
Fund ‘til November, no frills, keep it simple.
But Chuck Schumer’s crew? They slam the door shut,
Twelve blocks in the Senate, leavin’ workers in a rut!
[Chorus - Male & Female Harmony]
It’s the Schumer Shut Down, cash flow’s run aground,
Essential folks hustlin’, no coins to be found.
Dems want a goldmine, G. O. P.’s playin’ cheap,
Chuck’s holdin’ the fort, makin’ wallets weep!
Schumer Shut Down, Capitol’s clown parade,
This circus is bonkers, who’s flippin’ the spade?
[Verse 2 - Female Spoken Rap]
Dems demand a pay plan, big as a Longhorn’s rack,
Every worker bankrolled, furloughed or stacked.
No half-baked split, no “essentials” elite,
Health funds, storm aid, and Trump’s firings? Beat it!
G. O. P.’s like, “Hold up, just the core gets the green,
Furloughed can chill, eat ramen, stay lean.”
TSA’s scannin’ bags, controllers steer the skies,
But their pockets? Emptier than a ghost town’s lies.
[Chorus - Male & Female Harmony]
It’s the Schumer Shut Down, cash flow’s run aground,
Essential folks hustlin’, no coins to be found.
Dems want a goldmine, G. O. P.’s playin’ cheap,
Chuck’s holdin’ the fort, makin’ wallets weep!
Schumer Shut Down, Capitol’s clown parade,
This circus is bonkers, who’s flippin’ the spade?
[Bridge - Male & Female Alternating Spoken Word]
(Male) Air traffic bosses, keepin’ jets from a crash,
(Female) Border cops starin’ at tumbleweeds, no cash.
(Male) FBI’s nabbin’ crooks, wallets thin as a dime,
(Female) Coast Guard’s savin’ souls, eatin’ saltines for crime!
(Male) Park rangers guardin’ dirt, FDA checks your steak,
(Female) Seven-thirty K slavin’, for zero’s sake!
(Male) Back pay’s a promise, but bills don’t play nice,
(Female) Chuck’s dealin’ goose eggs, servin’ financial lice!
[Verse 3 - Male Spoken Rap]
Economy’s bleedin’ billions, sinkin’ like a stone,
Schumer’s playin’ king, perched on his Senate throne.
Two-thirteen Dem reps, forty-five in the Senate,
Still cashin’ checks, while workers’ hopes plummet.
Treasury’s got their backs, but workers hit the skids,
Air traffic’s tankin’, shortages flippin’ lids.
Trump’s screamin’ “Foul!” G. O. P. draws a hard line,
Chuck’s like, “My rules, or we stall ‘til ’29!”
[Chorus - Male & Female Harmony]
It’s the Schumer Shut Down, cash flow’s run aground,
Essential folks hustlin’, no coins to be found.
Dems want a goldmine, G. O. P.’s playin’ cheap,
Chuck’s holdin’ the fort, makin’ wallets weep!
Schumer Shut Down, Capitol’s clown parade,
This circus is bonkers, who’s flippin’ the spade?
[Outro - Male & Female Harmony Fade]
Schumer Shut Down... (echo) Chuck’s wild rodeo...
Workers broke, Congress woke... Let the greenbacks flow!
